What Were Playing

Ichigo’s inconsistent power levels are back in full force, and he suddenly finds himself unable to stand up to Gin. Hopefully Matsumoto running to Gin doesn’t indicate that each captain will continue to be taken out by their former vice-captain. Tousen got tostito’d by Hisagi after showing off his new powers, and even Shinji got cut down by his former vice-captain Aizen. Aizen to be killed by Momo Hinamori, confirmed.

Urahara and co. are finally giving Aizen a bit of a workout. Aizen acknowledges that Urahara is the only person in Soul Society smarter than he is. But can he see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Either way, he’s finally showing off his powers a bit. He distracts Aizen so Yoruichi can land a hit or two, then binds Aizen and sets off a chain reaction. Isshin then pops up behind Aizen and… GETSUGA TENSHOU!!! Wait, what? Why does Isshin have the same powers as Ichigo? Is he copying Ichigo’s technique, or did he give the technique to Ichigo in the first place? Oh well, I’m sure it’s the “will of the hougyoku” that did it.

It's a human condom, Ichigo. A human condom.

We saw the Kidou war last chapter, ending with Urahara forcing Aizen to overload with his own energy, much like what Aizen and Wonderweiss did to kill or seriously wound Yamamoto. From the very start, Urahara knew Aizen would be back; he’s no ordinary monster, after all. But did he know that Aizen would be coming back with a new costume? It’s true: Aizen is now The Human Condom, supervillain extraordinaire.

Aizen says that Urahara’s new technique would actually have killed him if he hadn’t fused with the Hougyoku, but doing so has given him powers even its creator can’t understand. Urahara and Isshin charge at Aizen, but he’s clearly faster than either of them now. Their goal wasn’t to hit him, though: they manage to bind him with the decorative ribbons hanging from their zanpakuto. They’ve created an opening, but who will be fast enough to take it? The Goddess of Flash, of course. She comes down from the sky — in a skintight suit with gauntlets, because more fanservice is always a good thing — and pancakes Aizen into the pavement.

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Aizen apparently went from being an untouchable god to getting kicked around by Isshin easily, so here comes his powerup. We can’t have Aizen looking less-than-invincible for long, after all. So the big Hougyouku reveal is here: it’s not just a device to fuse shinigami and hollows, it’s a magic lamp you don’t even have to rub. Or touch. Or be aware of your own wishes. Apparently it senses the wishes of hearts and grants them.

That’s why Ichigo is so powerful, why Urahara managed to save the Vizards so long ago, and why Ichigo’s friends gained powers. Unfortunately, this isn’t the sort of reveal where I go back and think “It all makes sense now!”.  No, instead I’m thinking “I’m confused!” I have no idea what makes it grant or not grant various wishes, or which sorts of wishes it can grant, or how well it grants them, or how far you have to be from it for it to work, or how many wishes one person gets, or anything else.  Talk about Deus Ex Machina. Everyone is strong for the same reason, so why is Chad powered only enough to lose horribly? Was his wish not a strong one? What happens if somebody wishes in their heart for Aizen to disappear or the power to defeat him? It just doesn’t make much sense to me without hearing some rules.

A true magic lamp would be easy for me to grasp: you can always tell when somebody is making a wish and what the rules are. Instead, I have no idea what’s going on. The chapter ends with the creator of the Hougyouku showing up, so maybe we’ll get some answers, but Aizen made it sound as though Urahara doesn’t know what’s going on himself. Just when Aizen is going to give us some answers and implies he’s going to destroy the barrier between Soul Society and Earth, Urahara pops out of nowhere and impales him. Let him finish his speech already so we can be done with this insanely long battle! Come on people, stop interrupting the man!